The Wait
Something I am constantly battling with myself over is the stewardship of time. It was instilled in me at a young age that I had to earn my value, and that has evolved into stewarding every single moment... squeezing every ounce of potential out of every second.
I find myself in a season of waiting right now. It's been insanely frustrating. Tugging at that core string that says every moment must be seized and squeezed makes waiting feel like a waste of the most precious and irreplaceable earthly resource I possess. Time.
I've found myself in my prayer closet, in my car, and sometimes hiding under a blanket, fighting with my emotions, begging God for a next step so I can just move forward, and though I haven't been met with silence, I haven't been met with that next step clearly put in front of me.
So what to do with the wait? Something God has taught me in this season is that it is just as important to steward the wait as it is to steward time and movement. What does stewarding time look like? Great question.
I've learned (through lots of kicking and whining) that stewarding the waiting season that God has us in is much like sitting at a stoplight. World's longest stoplight sometimes. We stop at a stoplight not because we aren't going anywhere, not because we have nothing better to do, and not because we don't long to move forward. We stop for two reasons.
- We stop because it's the law. Have you ever been at a stoplight in the middle of the night that seemingly lasts forever, and there isn't a car in sight? Were you as frustrated as I have been thinking, "There is literally no reason to be stopped here and now?" But it is still expected and commanded for us to obey the law and stop at the red light and wait until it turns that exhilarating shade of green. And not the shade of green that leaves your wallet if you decide NOT to wait and pay for a traffic ticket for not yielding to a red light. Sometimes we sit at the stoplight just because He told us to out of obedience.
- We stop because it's not safe to go. There is an intersection near my home that is an absolute nightmare. The traffic is chaotic. The speed limit is high. There isn't good visibility coming from any direction. It just isn't safe to do anything but wait for the red to change at these intersections. The red lights are there for our safety, our protection, and preparation. The traffic needs time to prepare for your light to turn green so you can proceed smoothly with no interruptions. Sometimes we sit at the stoplight as God prepared the way for us.
If you're a fast mover and a hard worker like me, waiting probably feels icky to you, too. But don't fret, the wait is FOR you and not against you. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. And I have yet to be disappointed for taking the time to wait for God, whether I wanted to or liked it or not.
